Cinco De Mayo… The Real Story

Cinco De Mayo… The Real Story

Many  American Humans  are under the impression that Cinco de Mayo is the celebration of Mexico’s independence. They use this day to go out and drink gallons of terrible tequila while wearing cheesy sombreros with the mission of filling up on loads of Meaty Mexican food…. Don’t get me wrong… I’m not reading nobody, because you already know I’m the first one in line for a Margarita and a bowl of White Cheese Dip… I just wanted to give you the real tea on Cinco de Mayo… While using today’s African American Vernacular English of course…Lol you ready?…

 

So first off… Cinco de Mayo is a holiday that celebrates the time when the Mexican dudes showed out all over the French dudes in 1862… So no…it’s not for their independence… They earned that in 1810… Anyway like most historic beefs this one started over money.. You know… The COINS.. Mexico owed EVERYBODY money!!… He was borrowing from the OG’s on the block named France Britain and Spain… But he wasn’t even trying to pay the back.. Like they kept hitting him up, and he was straight ghostin’ on em…

 

Finally Britain France and Spain went to Mexico’s house and was like…

 

“Say Fam… You got our money”?…

 

“And Mexico was like nah bruh… I ain’t got paid yet… Imma hit you up next Friday son”…

 

So Britain and Spain was like “Aight cool… But we coming back on Friday though like Foreal son”…

 

But Europe?… Nope… Europe was TURNT to the MAX!!… He been sippin on that double cup since 9am that morning.. So you already know He was ready to show out… He was like “Nah Bruh!!… Nah.. I can’t even let you make it Fam…It’s already been 2 weeks… I’m bout to call every person in my hood to come shut it down”!!…

Mexico was like “Man do what cha do… I’m not scared of you no… man call people sha”…

 

So the French dude showed up with 6,000 homies… And The Mexican dude called 2,000 homies… The French dudes was looking at them across the block like “yeah we bout to wreck shop”… But what they DIDN’T know is that the Mexicans  discovered the Coca Plant and was currently in use that same day lol, so it didn’t matter how many French dudes showed up… The Mexicans were gonna sniff… I mean… Fight their way to an epic victory regardless… oh yeah…that fight  was called The Battle of Puebla.. my bad…I almost forgot lol…

 

Overall the Mexicans slaughtered​ over 500 French dudes… and the French.. Well… They only killed 100 Mexicans… Then out of nowhere Sh’America showed up…(yes gurrl I’m talking about America) … Sh’America came to throw them hands for her Lil cousin Mexico… She was like “Is there a Problem”?… Meanwhile she had a razor blade under her tongue… The French dude was like “Naw I’m Good”… The French dude bounced out, and the rest is history…

 

Although Cinco de Mayo has gradually turned into a celebration of Mexican culture amongst us American Humans and not a celebration of its independence, It’s important to know your world history… No matter how you interpret the story …. Happy Cinco de Mayo Humans… Don’t Drink and Drive…

 

#sayfam

#doublecup

#therealcincodemayo

#sh’america

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