The Perfect Man

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The Perfect Man

My Friend LaKeisha came to me the other day and said Zack…. I’m tired of being single. I want a man that will take care of me and my kids… A man that will take care of all my needs… I said well it sounds like you need the Perfect Man… she said oooh yeah what’s that.. And I said…


The perfect man is gentle,

Never cruel or mean;

He has a beautiful smile,

And keeps his face so clean.

The perfect man likes children

And will raise them by your side.

He will be a darn good father

And a husband to his bride.

The perfect man loves cooking,

Cleaning and vacuuming, too.

He’ll do anything in his power

To show his love to you.

The perfect man is sweet,

Writing poetry in your name.

He’s a best friend to your mother

And kisses away your pain.

He never makes you cry

Or hurt in any way.

Oh, fuck this stupid poem…

The perfect man is gay.